Where you can read the relatively rational ramblings of a silly half-monkey, half-boy. This freak of nature is named Joel. He also responds to the name 'Bart Wang'.

Thursday, February 16, 2006


Hello friends! Bart Wang is back on the Internet, in spite of the Bell's repeated screw-ups. We've moved. We're in our new house, which we own. Well, I suppose the bank owns it at this exact moment because we haven't made one mortgage payment yet. The move was eventful. The good? We have lots of friends. They are an incredible blessing. We had a lot of people help us out in our afternoon of need. I have thanked God for Chad, Darren, Karen, Katie, Josh, Melanie Ramsay, Steve-o, Taxman as well as Melanie's parents, Chris & Jane, Chris' best friend, Dave. My dad also helped out at the house, setting up our washer and dryer. We couldn't have done it without them and we are honoured to have such great people in our lives.

The bad... Oh, there's plenty. Bell, as I mentioned, screwed up. Again. Multiple times. They didn't install the satellite correctly, they didn't set up our phone for the whole weekend (though they didn't call to tell me they weren't showing up for our appointment) and then they kept us on the phone for an hour and a half because of their mistakes. I got angry and let them know. They miraculously freed up someone Monday when they told me no one would be out until Wednesday. Two days after moving in, the furnace died. Well, the motor for the fan died. We were without heat for two days. Clough Energy (whom my dad has used) told us they would show up but then didn't. The second guy told Melanie that they don't work after 4PM. Oh, well, they do if you pay three hours labour ($600) regardless of the outcome. SCREW YOU! Then some other guy showed up the next day from another heating company and tried to do a cash deal immediately before telling us it would be almost double the cost to do it legitimately. He ended up buying us a motor (he told us the general public could not buy a motor and only people with their gas ticket could do so - a lie) and my sister's husband, Al, and his friend, Jay, saved our freezing asses. Thanks, guys!
It could have been worse, right? I know. But that doesn't put money back in my account or make me feel lucky. Anyhow, we're in and we're getting organized, slowly but surely.

'W.W.J.D.' is so 2001. This sermon kicked ass and introduced me to the acronym that titles this post. Instead, we should follow this one. So much for all the crappy bracelets and keychains. However, getting a better life out of the deal? I suppose we can forgo further commercializing Jesus.

Dig this. Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report is a funny man. He has a segment on the show (which I am watching for the first time) called 'The Word'. Today's word is 'Jesi', as in 'multiple Jesuses'. You can watch the clip here, which is well worth the couple minutes. It's hilarious and scathing at the same time.

I once wrote an article for Building Adam (R.I.P.) about Rev. Fred Phelps and his aggressive hatred of homosexuality, gays, lesbians, bisexuals and every other owner of a non-heterosexual orientation. His is the group that is known for protesting Matthew Shepard's funeral and registering www.godhatesfags.com. His vitriol is pretty astounding and ignorant. Breukelaar sent me an article in which the journalist wonders if Fred's hatred is truly directed inward rather than outward.

Damn, this post is full of good shit for you to read. Here's an article that I want all my single friends (especially you fine young ladies - you know who you are because I've tried to tell you that's who you are for some time now) to read. A thoughtful ponderance of the question, 'So, why aren't you married yet?' Sure, it may not set your mind or heart at ease but it's better than the beating you give yourself all too often. You are loved by many people, including me.

Leigh Nash, the wonderful voice of Sixpence None the Richer, is working on a solo album with Sarah McLachlan's producer. So says Rolling Stone. The Vandermark kids are rejoicing!

I wasn't sure how to introduce this next piece. I thought about swearing but then I thought maybe I wouldn't. This can be a 'choose your own introduction'. Here we go...

[A hearty 'fuck you' to Michelin, the world's leading tiremaker.]
[A warm 'up your's' to Michelin, the world's leading tiremaker.]

I stumbled across a little blurb in the Hamilton Spectator as I was folding newspaper for recycling. On February 15th, 2006, it was reported that Michelin's net profit "surged by 36 per cent in 2005 despite sharply rising raw material costs and lower sales volumes." That amounted to profits of $1 billion. That's right - $1,000,000,000. Not bad, eh? To celebrate, Michelin is closing its factory in Kitchener, Ontario, "throwing 1,100 people out of work citing a contracting tire segment and intense cost pressure from imports." YOU EARNED $1 BILLION, YOU HEARTLESS, EVIL MEN!! You appear to be managing the 'contracting tire segment and intense cost pressure from imports' rather well. Again, another company that is not content to make money. They only want to make more money. See why I wanted to use harsh language now?

I'm supposed to hang with Matt Armstrong this evening. He's a good dude. I don't see him much so we're being intentional to kick it tonight. We're going to hook up with Josh, Darren, Ramage and Darren's friends to watch UFC 58 tonight - Canada versus the U.S. I guess I could apply W.I.J.H.I.T.M. to this. What do you think Jesus' perspective on sports/activites that involve physical combat? I'm not sure. Until I figure it out, I hope the Canadian fighters mess up the American dirtbags. Hahahaha.

Before I go, I'll leave you with links to two mash-ups involving my boy, Sufjan Stevens. I was surprised to see that his music was used but pleased. These mash-ups are decent too. Check 'em out at your leisure.

Two-faced John McCartney presents Sufjan Stevens vs. Kanye West - Zombies Walk!!

Aggro1 delivers Sufjan Stevens vs. Christina Aguilera - Peninsular Makeover

Have a good night, everyone! That includes you too, Steve-o.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

The Juliana Theory Is Dead

Right after I write about Zao (Brett Detar's former band), I read that The Juliana Theory has called it quits. That's too bad. I don't have the latest album, Deadbeat Sweetheartbeat, but the songs on their site sound like what I would expect - good. I never got into their 'Love' album. I adored 'Understand This Is A Dream' back when I got it in 1999. I wrote a glowing review of it for the university paper and it stuck in my CD player for months. Their sophomore album, 'Emotion Is Dead', still ranks as one of my favourite albums of all-time in spite of it having some of the worst cover art ever. There's enough sweetness and rock to keep my palate satisfied. Once they went off to Epic to record 'Love', I lost interest. It wasn't my thing. I will cherish the two times I got to see them live (easily one of the most entertaining bands I have seen). I also got to interview Josh Fiedler via e-mail for an online zine and chatted with him for a little while in Toronto before one of their shows. I don't think they ever got their due as a fabulous band because of ignorance such as that contained in the above-linked review of their first album. Good luck to the boys and I hope to hear your future endeavours if they end up being musical.

I've been meaning to post this picture for a while. These are three of my friends. From the left is Chantal, Ada & Heather. Chantal is the Chantal who I often talk about because she's a wonderful friend who I worked with/look forward to working with again when she's finished school. Ada is an awesome person that I met in the last year of university (it was the last year, wasn't it?) through her best friend, Heather (yes, this Heather). I met Heather in first year. Heather is one of the two people (her other best friend, Amy, being the second) that encouraged me to apply for the job I currently have. Heather is an incredibly kind and insightful person that I wish I saw/talked to more. They're all going to school together to get their Master's degrees and confirm that they are, in fact, smarter than me. I told them to save their money because everyone already knew that (including me) but they wanted the diploma to prove it. Hahahaha.

And while I'm posting pictures of people I know, here's one of Jeff and his daughter, Grace. Jeff's beautiful wife, Lyndsey, gave Jeff the gift of a child late last year. For those of you that know him, he's become even more of a suck since that time, if you can believe it. Jeff's a killer dude with a wicked sense of humour and a warm heart. I got to see him last week at Josh's house when we watched the Super Bowl with Matt, Head, Booj, Nathan and Stefan. There was a lot of food eaten (particularly Matt's delicious homemade chili) and plenty of insults hurled at Booj. As always. Good times.

Canada has already risen to the top of the podium in the Olympics. Jennifer Heil of Spruce Grove, Alberta won a gold medal in the freestyle moguls. I hate skiing but I love my country and like to see us do well in sports. I can't wait for men's hockey to start. Buckle up, U.S.A. You're going to get rocked. I hope it's as brutal a drubbing as the Canadian women laid on Italy - 16-0, yo. Get ready.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Big bad Benny

Do you like Benny Hinn? Have you been healed by his ministry? Do you tune in religiously because you believe him to be God's messenger? Me neither. I think he's more of a tool than a messenger. Anyhow, my friend Justin sent me a link to this rather extensive article about Brother Hinn. Let me make it very clear - the man is a fake and he's dangerous. Read it and learn why. I lent Justin my copy of the DVD, 'The Many Faces Of Benny Hinn', in which Benny makes such claims as: Adam had the power of flight, Benny saw a man turn into a snake (in Canada, no less!), angels talk to him and various other funny and sad prophecies. You can watch a preview here.

We had a wonderful time last weekend in Cobourg at the marital union of Mike and Andria Slack. First, I found a pretty killer music store and spent a lot of money. I picked up the new Zao 'The Lesser Lights Of Heaven' DVD, which was pretty well done (clocking in at 3.5 hours in the documentary alone!) and my boy, Bill, gets name-dropped (even if Shawn Jonas says his name wrong). I also got the latest Black Rebel Motorcycle Club on Todd's recommendation and Neil Young's greatest hits. Got a DVD and CD for my dad too - you can't buy Christmas gifts too early!
Second, we ate at this awesome breakfast place called The Buttermilk Cafe. I had a nice big breakfast. Mmmm, breakfast. The day after the wedding, we all gathered at Andria's parents' house and they made up this incredible brunch for about thirty people. Some amazing muffins were eaten before we ventured back to the Creek. Thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Harvey (as well Andria's sisters, Sara[h] and Emily, and their partners, Matt and Peter). Matt and Peter also played some beautiful acoustic pieces before the wedding began.
Third, Mike and Andria got married in a really nice ceremony and we had a great time partying with our friends. There wasn't a ton of dancing, though Melanie and Katie tried to keep it going. I shook my booty a few times too. And we ate some great cakes for dessert.

I know, that seems ignorant, doesn't it? Priorities - music, food then friends pledging their undying love to each other. Yep, that's perfect. Hahaha. Melanie tells me dinner is ready so I must depart. Maybe you should eat something too. You're looking a little gaunt from over here.