Where you can read the relatively rational ramblings of a silly half-monkey, half-boy. This freak of nature is named Joel. He also responds to the name 'Bart Wang'.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

My week off

They're not as frequent as they once were. This is actually the first week I've had off and stayed home in over a year, believe it or not. Ok, I'm not crying the blues, I get a significant amount of time off. It's been a decent week. Melanie had to work nights four times but we did get some time together. Went out for breakfast twice (once with Melanie, once with Cal & Soo whom I have not seen in way too long), watched a few movies (including the extended-and-awkwardly-edited Mallrats and Iraq In Fragments) and got some new tattoos.

Yes, after several years of talking about it, I got new body art. My friend, Andy Richens, was gracious with his time and talent and did a spectacular job. If you want the best looking tattoo you can get from a guy with serious skills and dedication to have your tattoo look perfect, Andy is the man. He's opening his own shop in just over a week called Pick Your Poison (no website yet). I went to see him at Lucky 13, where he has been for some time.

And now, without further ado (whatever 'ado' means), here's the ink... Please ignore the redness around the letters. That will fade with healing time.

This is the left forearm. I'm going to start a new company called 'To Write Love On His Arm' and make a lot of money. For charity, of course. (Go here if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

This is the right forearm. No other comment except to point out how perfect the lettering is.

This is the whole ordeal. Yeah, on the abdomen too. That was the most uncomfortable part, not surprisingly. Can't wait for it all to be healed. And, in case you were wondering, as Bill was, these pyjama pants were from Old Navy. Yes, I have a navel ring. No, I'm not a chick. Yes, I used to have another piercing which made it appear less girl-ish but it had to be taken out (against my will). No, I'm not taking it out now. No, you shut up.

Check out this video. It's, apparently, a Scientology-produced video that was shown when Tommy won their 'medal of valour'. He crazy. I got this link from Nagy.

I'm listening to the new Blind Boys Of Alabama album. It's good, classic gospel. Missing Clarence's booming voice, though.

Yesterday, I watched the online record release party for my new musical love interest, Waz. It was a great time. Very cool to see him (and his friends Jamie, Malcolm, that other dude who's name escapes me as well as Pete Yorn). I tried to enter the chat enough so that my name (or, at least, my alias - Bart Wang) was spoken but it happen. Waz has been really cool in sending e-mails so I wanted to tell him I was there. Anyhow, it seems I was still noticed as he later sent me a message that said,

"Hey Joel. You've become a legendary Bart Wang figure. At the end of the show, pete, the band, and I were sitting around and pete says, "Who's Bart Wang? He's great!" It was classic! Thanks for tuning in!!!"

I recorded the audio of the show (though I think I might have messed up part of one song) but I'll post it here soon.

Tonight is UFC 80 and I'm planning to head down to Grimsby to watch the carnage. Yay for half-naked, sweaty, wrestling men!

Dunk it in the toilet...

I'm a total ass. You already knew that. I'm just learning it. I missed my favourite comedian of the day, Jim Gaffigan, in Toronto on the weekend. I only found out today that he was in the area. Dangit! I've tried to get Belanger to see him in Calgary in a couple weeks. Are you in Calgary? You should go too. I guarantee tears. Hot pocket!

You need to hear him so you can get his last album, Beyond The Pale, here. I own the DVD, which is the best way to experience Mr. Gaffigan. Go buy it ASAP.

I'm on vacation this week, though I did check my work e-mail today. I've accomplished very little in my two days off so far. I watched 'Severance' today, which was pretty good. I also updated our RRSP stuff. Tomorrow is the pinnacle of the week - new tattoos. I'm super-excited and a bit nervous as it's been several years since I've felt the sting of the needle. It'll be worth it because I'll be able to convince some people I'm cool and/or tough. Oh, scratch that last possibility. The word 'Love' will be prominently displayed on my body so I don't think anyone's going to fall for the 'tough' act. Of course, I don't want to be tough. Which works well because I'm not. Anyhow, I'll post pictures eventually.

I have the best wife in the world. Most of you would agree with me. Can I get an 'amen', Whitney? She treats me so well. She's awesome.

I've been reading 'Poop Culture', which Chad gave me for Christmas. It is excellent. Lots of laughs (because I'm totally immature) and lots of interesting information. I definitely recommend it. The author suggests that bidets may have caught on in North America if it was called a 'butt sink'. That's hilarious, I don't care who you are.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Is this thing on? Holy toast!

No, my friends, it isn't. As you can see, it is late at night on a Friday - prime posting time. No workout with Taxman (I'm recovering from round two of my battle with some form of influenza) but some time with my favourite lady and a good flick.

Have you tried the new Buffalo Wings & Blue Cheese potato chips from President's Choice? Damn. Those are good chips. You knuckleheads from America don't get these or ketchup chips (and I don't know where I can get 9/10 of these ones). Abundant thanks and appreciation to Katie for buying them for me. I'll be sure to bring some down to Nashville in May. Hip hip hooray for visiting Bill & Ronee!

Where have I been? I was here for a week in December to celebrate my mother-in-law's retirement from the rat race (though her's was a very noble race, given she's a nurse). Congratulations and thank you! Does that explain an eight month lay-off? No.

Maybe I'll be motivated to write something more humourous/inspiring/embarrassing later on. Maybe I'll tell you about how I lost approximate ten pounds on a 'diarrhea diet' (nothing goes in, brown water comes out) over Christmas. Maybe I'll keep that to myself.

The real motivation for this post is the Dude. No, not Lebowski. This Dude likes Rosie Thomas a lot. That immediately boosts his reliability in terms of someone who has good taste in music. Second, he likes Mindy Smith a lot. We're now instant friends. I had asked the Dude if he had any of Mindy's demo tunes. He did not. He asked if I would share what I had. I ignored his request until now. I'm only missing one track, from what I have been able to locate, which is the original version of 'Come To Jesus'. If you have that one song or know where I can get it, please let me know. It was the song that made me flip out for Mindy and I'd love to hear it. This demo is rad because there's only one track (aside from the one I don't have) that was released otherwise. And it's a very different recording. Download away, my friends...

Mindy Smith - Demos

And I must put in a quick plug for a man I expect to be on the top of my list for albums in 2008 - WAZ. Thanks for the fella that left the link in the comments to the post below for WAZ's EP, 'Home'. I'm stoked for his debut album, 'The Sweet Bye And Bye', which I have pre-ordered. Make sure you listen to his cover of U2's 'I Will Follow', which is incredibly beautiful (thanks to Heather for introducing me). I think you'll be sold too.