Where you can read the relatively rational ramblings of a silly half-monkey, half-boy. This freak of nature is named Joel. He also responds to the name 'Bart Wang'.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Now THAT's a turkey!

Fresh from our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, I give you another update from the Martin's home. I was on a good roll there, wasn't I? Two updates in as many days? Egads, you must have been thrilled! But I let you down. I'm so, so sorry. I'm done grovelling.

I went out last Monday with some of the fellows from high school as I was telling you. For the first while, it was just me, Nathan Veldman and Mike "The Animal" Andres. That was fine, though, because they're both good dudes. Matt Armstrong joined us after returning home from work. [Funny aside: when I called Matt's house to find out if he was home or when he would be home, his brother and parents had no idea when he'd be home. Ok, it was funny at the time. Shut up.] We ate a lot of wings (six pounds between the four of us) and an insanely large plate of nachos (which was actually the half size). Stefan "Tiger" Murray showed up when we were getting ready to leave. Stefan was excited to find out that I knew who Sufjan Stevens was. I was thrilled to be able to share some Suf-love with another person.

The week at work was pretty busy, getting some cases closed, calling people, trying to help some while trying not to openly belittle/mock others. Why are so many fathers absolute tools? Yes, they are created and beloved by God. But their behaviour is so questionable or inane, I wonder what God thinks. Friday was our busy day of getting new cases. I got my three but didn't meet any of the families. I've got two whole days this week to do that before we get new files again! Only Taylor got screwed on Friday by getting stuck out until 6PM.

Speaking of what God thinks when people act like morons... Taylor's case involved some kids whose parents left them at home for the weekend. Now, most of the time, the report we get doesn't have all the information so things are usually fine once we check it out and the parents made appropriate plans. But we can't assume things are okay because we do meet parents who are several bricks short of a load. I'm sorry, that was the best cliche I could come up with at this moment. Anyhow, the school gives Taylor the wrong address so she tries to find the family and they don't live at that home anymore. She calls the father - a PASTOR - and he shit-talks her the whole time. Instead of being respectful, responding in a mature manner to the very basic questions and acting like Jesus would, he acts like a fool. Awesome. What could have been cleared up in ten minutes will weight on Taylor's weekend and then bite this guy in the ass this week. What a poor example of Jesus he gave (and I know that I do the same often as well). I told Taylor to find out what church he pastors because I want to go and heckle him. Maybe I will point out that Paul implored the Christians in Rome to respect the government (and, by extension, its various branches and services) because they were put in place by God (Romans 13:1-5).

On the news today, we were stunned to see video from an arrest gone horribly wrong in New Orleans. This old man (64) was being arrested for public drunkenness. Sounds pretty mundane, right? I would imagine this is common in the Big Easy. Apparently, the cops were so threatened that at least three officers beat this guy to a bloody pulp. They were caught on camera punching him in the face multiple times. Another camera showed him after the beating - gross. His face was seriously messed up. While lying on the ground, bleeding everywhere, a cop is shown to be pushing the poor man with his foot. I'm not a violent person and I don't like violence. But seeing that made me want to kick those policemen's asses. I might take a beating in the process but they cannot treat someone like that and get away with it. I hope they all lose their jobs and spend time in jail to learn their lesson. Shockingly, the officers are pleading 'not guilty'. Oh, did I mention the senior citizen who was beaten was black? And the police officers were white? Don't worry, the cops said it wasn't racially-motivated. Pheew. We can just forget about all these years of racism.

On Saturday morning, I was up bright and early to join my good friends, Dave and Melody Blondel, for breakfast. We visited the Sunnyside Up in Mount Hope for a home-cooked meal. Delicious! I went for the 'Big Boy' breakfast. It was rather large. Let me give you the delectable rundown of my plate: two eggs (over-easy, of course), two slices of bacon, two sausages, one slice of ham, homefries, three pancakes, a slice of French toast and two pieces of regular toast. The only thing lacking was the amount of homefries - I loves my fried taters! We talked, laughed, Dave told lots of stories... Good times. Oh, incidentally, this picture was taken the last time we went out for breakfast. To Joey's Only, a fish and chip place. Yes, for breakfast. No, it wasn't my idea, it was Dave's. Dave and I both had incredibly painful cases of diarrhea afterward. My drive home was about 30-40 minutes. Dave's was 2.5 hours. But back to this visit...

We then went to the mall so Melody could look for some clothes. Fortunately, we also found our way to some music stores. I like to support such stores. I was wanting to pick up the new King's X album but it wasn't there. So I had to buy the new Sigur Rós, Iron And Wine's 'Woman King' EP and '100' double disc from Andy Stochansky. Blondel told me a cool story about Andy Stochansky before but I forget the details aside from him showing up at neXt church in Kingston
after the church used one of his songs in musical worship. Very rad. I visited that church once while in Kingston. They used songs from Uncle Tupelo, Sinead O'Connor and Coldplay. Excellent!

Anyhow, Dave and Melody were off and I came back home. I cut the lawn. I hate cutting the lawn. Especially trying to cut it with a dull blade after it has not been cut in three-to-four weeks. Josh came over in the evening to watch two periods of the Leafs-Canadiens games before abandoning me for his wife. What a jerk eh?

I must send out a belated 'happy birthday' to my adopted father, Mark Fraser, way back on October 2nd. Ok, so he didn't really adopt me. I just lived in his basement like an adolescent son for a few years. Happy birthday, Marky Mark! The big 3-0.

Yesterday, Melanie composed the finest Thanksgiving dinner ever eaten. Martha Stewart has nothing on my wife. A huge turkey with cornbread stuffing, the best dang cooked carrots I've ever tasted (honey-almond, ya'll!), beans, garlic mashed potatoes... Mmmmm mmmm! Melanie just ate a plate of leftovers and said the food tastes even better today. We have enough turkey that if you come over in the next four months, that's probably what you'll be eating. Be thankful, you ungrateful ogre. Her sister, Jenn, made awesome pumpkin pies (I ate my piece today and loved it). It was Thanksgiving dinner as well as a meal for Melanie's parents, who celebrated their thirtieth wedding anniversary last week. Congratulations!

I haven't showered yet today. I smell just slightly better than hobo butt. I should probably think about changing that. I did, however, finish my laundry so my clothes are all flowery fresh. I ever ironed six shirts! I don't know what I hate more, ironing or shaving. Probably shaving because I have to do it more often. Both tasks suck though, let there be no misunderstanding.

Bill arrived in Nashville safely the other day, thanks be to God. Did I tell you about all the happenings in Bill's life? I can't recall. Most of you (and by 'most of you', I mean 'all of you' - Breukelaar and Blondel) likely read his blog. If you don't, you should. Bill is a fine fellow and a good friend.

I will leave you now. Enjoy your day off (if you are a blessed Canuck) or your day on (if you are a cursed non-Canadian). I'll direct you to two places. First, you can listen to a new King's X song, 'Alone', online! For free!

Second, you can visit Darren Conley's new blog. Darren's a swell guy. Get it? 'Swell'? Like 'swelling after getting a nose job'? I'm funny. He wrote up a whole post about me. That oughta draw in the readers! Peace out, ya'll!


Blogger Dave.B. said...

i'm sure you've got at least one other reader than me and blondel... don't sell yourself short like that.

10:15 a.m.

Blogger HCJoel said...

Does Carlo read this too? My wife doesn't even read my blog!

6:54 p.m.


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