Where you can read the relatively rational ramblings of a silly half-monkey, half-boy. This freak of nature is named Joel. He also responds to the name 'Bart Wang'.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

A link a day will keep you on the Internet for an absurd length of time (just ask me)

Should I post an update? Yes. Will I? Of course. Is it now? Not exactly. What you will get are a lot of links and maybe a couple small forwarded messages of interesting reading material. I often read something and send the link to myself in order to post it on here and share with you, my friends. Of course, I have way more in my inbox than I have given you so I'm on a cleaning spree. If you have a few minutes, check these out.

Soren Kierkegaard - Fear And Trembling
Ben Tombs sent me this a long while ago. For a quick overview to see what you're getting yourself into, check out this summary. Then, here are some longer explications as well as the Wikipedia entry.

Bob Burnett - Why Don't Men Write About Abortion?
I arrive at the same conclusion as the author but for radically different reasons. And none of those reasons involve controlling people or harming them. In fact, I would argue that control over others and harm are two results of abortion.

Michael Schwalbe - Reproductive Freedom 101
Another article about abortion. See if you can keep up with counting the philosophically flawed and factually incorrect arguments (they come at you pretty fast). Much of what the author states are positions that have been dismantled with the slightest bit of reason. Unfortunately, many in the pro-choice camp keep pushing them and those in the pro-life gathering are not responding adequately.

Mark Denver - Nothing But The Blood
More and more evangelicals believe Christ's atoning death is merely a grotesque creation of the medieval imagination. Really?
Did I post this already? I can't remember. It's a good read and should challenge some thoughts, for those of you following Jesus.

Giles Fraser - Suffer Little Children
US evangelists are twisting the Bible to say that beating the young is a Christian doctrine
My thoughts and feelings about physical discipline/punishment are well-known to those with whom I have discussed this topic. I once held that physical discipline was a necessity with the support of God. After all, I was hit (on rare occasion with a paddle or wooden spoon, in fact) and I seemed to turn out alright. I know hold the exact opposite view and believe that such an argument (i.e., I'm ok in some frame of reference at this time so hitting me when I was young was an acceptable form of discipline) is weak/bad/wrong.

Amy Laura Hall - For Shame?
Why Christians should welcome, rather than stigmatize, unwed mothers and their children.

Stephen Colbert - Transcript of monologue at the White House Correspondents' Dinner
Back in April of this year, Colbert was all over the news for this brilliant chunk of mockery and hilarity. I cried as I read it and just happened to see it on CPAC while visiting Mike Vandermark in Toronto at his hotel room. It was a nutty coincidence. I was glad to have caught it because it was awesome.

David Adam - Royal Society Tells Exxon: Stop Funding Climate Change Denial
This applies to Esso as well, for those of us lucky enough to live in Canada. Don't get mad, Whitney. Hahahaha.

Video: Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society
This was wicked. It's funny even if you never liked comic books. It's just funnier if you did.

Preston Jones - Lessons From A Punker Ph.D.
Don't call my correspondence with Bad Religion's Greg Graffin a debate.
While the use of the word 'punker' made me skeptical that this would be any decent (really, does anyone familiar with punk rock use that term?), this is a keeper. Bill had actually heard of this book before I forwarded this and Bill has his finger on the pulse of what is cool. He's friends with me, after all. That's some reliable evidence, Jack.

Dale Gavlak (in Beirut, Lebanon and Amman, Jordan) - 'They Know We Are Christians'
Lebanese Christian compassion impresses Muslims during bloody conflict.


I found a couple MP3s of Arrah and the Ferns some time ago. I am playing them as I write this e-mail. This is catchy shit, yo. I particularly enjoyed the song, 'Emo Phillips'. The other one, 'Apple For Evan', is also good. [Thanks to Skatterbrain for the links.] Dig it!

My favourite singer-songwriter, Denison Witmer, has re-re-released his first album, Safe Away, with his new Are You A Sleeper? E.P. You can get one of the tracks, Postcard Song, at Songs:Illinois for the small cost of nothing. Then you can pop over to The Militia Group to purchase the album and check out the new version of 'Castle And Cathedral', Fred's favourite song from Are You A Dreamer?, with Rosie Thomas on vocals. The ideal of beauty captured on tape, my friends.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q. And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

[My favourite!]

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


A sick man turned to his doctor,as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?" the man asked.

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing. I know my Master is there and that is enough."


My friend, Whitney, is an elementary school teacher. She's also a great soccer player, drop-dead gorgeous babe armed with a full arsenal of barbed wit and a wonderful friend. She had a black eye last year and had her students write stories how she received the injury. Click on the picture to read the most entertaining one she forwarded to me.


Next time, I will post about our trip to New Jersey last weekend to witness the formal nuptials of Bill and Ronee Lynn and this past weekend with Rick and Lisa. Two weddings in two weekends. I state with full confidence in my sexuality and masculinity that I like weddings. A lot. I'm a hopeless romantic, believe it or not. Why else would I adore The Wonder Years and Freaks & Geeks, the music of Dashboard Confessional, Denison and Rosie as well as the films Almost Famous and Strange Brew? Tug the heart-strings enough and you might see a tear from your uncle Monkey Boy. Oh, go here for some more Bob & Doug stuff (including SCTV clips). Have a good week, you hosers!


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